Does the old paint job on that VLCC look a bit dated?

Well, it could soon be time to jazz it up a little with an eccentrically named splash of colour from upmarket UK manufacturer Farrow & Ball, which has been bought by Danish ship and industrial coatings group Hempel.

The move, estimated at valuing the middle-class mainstay at £500m ($707m), opens up the tantalising possibility of owners heading to shipyards and asking for a Dead Salmon, Broccoli Brown or Nancy's Blushes.

Or how about Salon Drab or Savage Ground?

At least a hue called Cromarty offers some connection to the world of shipping, being familiar as a weather area to listeners of BBC Radio 4's famous shipping forecast.

TradeWinds, for what it's worth, quite likes the sound of Sulking Room Pink, for those days when life on board is all getting a bit too much.

But Arsenic is probably not a good idea for those intent on burnishing their ESG credentials.

Private equity puts down its brush

Farrow & Ball has been owned by Los Angeles-based private equity firm Ares since 2014. The company paid £275m back then.

Decorative paints made up a third of Hempel's revenue in 2020.

The group hopes to double revenue to €3bn ($3.65bn) through the latest deal.

But if owners' budgets are stretched, their local DIY emporium will mix up an F&B colour from a cheaper base paint, as all good home improvers know.

Meanwhile, port congestion in the US could spark a crisis for lovers of energy drinks.

Producer Monster Beverage has warned that it could run short of aluminium cans, while imports of key ingredients are increasingly problematic.

The company makes drinks with appetising names like Burn, Relentless and Mother.

Maybe they could develop a Dead Salmon too?